As Judy languishes in her bathtub, considering why exactly bubbles make her happy, she leans back, stretching her tired muscles. That shipment of books from UPS yesterday wasn't that bad, but it was getting to be a hassle putting the books around the dining area. The bookstore was just so much easier, she mused. Of course, thinking about work made her think about Jake, and Jake has just been entirely too much of a pain in her rear lately. She knew he understood the food portion of the business, but why couldn't he listen to some of her ideas, after all? They may not be all that great, but they are ideas. What was he coming up with?

Being the owner of the business wasn't new to her, but having to deal with Jake's mess was. If he wasn't complaining about one thing, he was flirting with yet another customer. "I wonder if he even looks at the 'Dating' section, and gets some of those pick up lines from there." Surely not. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him read a book. That was strange, being that he was married to her sister, part owner of My Sister's Bookstore. Then again, he sure seems to get a lot of dating action, compared to her. She felt her muscles bunching up beneath the layer of warm water, and the soothing effect just wasn't there. She had to clear her mind.

She was looking at the chrome finish on her faucet, noting with some minor satisfaction that it never dripped. That was one of those things she couldn't put up with. Drip. Drip. Drip. If she had to deal with that, she'd call Will Gluck over that very moment. Will Gluck. She missed him. They seemed to have a connection, a real connection, right before he left.

She didn't even feel it the first time she met him. He was nice looking and all, but she had prejudged him early on as a person lacking smarts. He wasn't a book reader. But he did like hot chocolate. His coming around frequently helped, in more ways than one. She could still remember that day at Lily's house, when they "did it" in her bed. A smile crossed her face, and she felt more relaxed. Maybe even a little turned on, but the water was warm. Her hand brushed against her thigh, and she sighed, audibly.

Then came the day he suddenly had to go. Her smile faded, as she reawakened those feelings of loss, and she remembered the tears she shed when they hugged goodbye. He had a good reason to leave; it was so he could see his daughter again, but just when things were looking up, fate struck her another blow.

She stretched, again trying to focus on emptying her mind. Her brow furrowed, as she realized that just the thought of trying to clear her mind was putting just one more thought in her mind. This just wasn't working. Her heart was troubled, and it seemed to have a way of keeping her off balance, unpleasantly occupied, restless.

She opened her eyes, and saw that most of the bubbles were gone. Like Will. The water was starting to get uncomfortably tepid, so she grabbed the edges of the porcelain tub and pulled herself upward, and stepped out of the tub. She reached for an emerald green heavy terrycloth towel, and enveloped herself within its folds. That was guilty pleasure she always satisfied. Why people would buy those cheap towels never made any sense. They didn't feel good on her flesh, and usually didn't do the job anyway. She hated the towels hotels offered, for example. She tousled her hair, but left it damp, dangling down her back. She looked at herself in the mirror, and again felt loneliness. She never thought that at 36, she'd have to worry about being single.

As she walked across her apartment, naked, her thoughts turned to Sam. Her non-date non-boyfriend. She had to wonder where that was going. He loved to come over, to make love to her. She'd broken it off with him a couple of times, because he was like poison to her. But he was addictive. He made her laugh. That day at the art gallery, he was somewhat mysterious.

She rolled her eyes, as she slipped into her underwear, when she remembered Lily's words: "Married. Unavailable." But he made himself available, several times. He'd just leave his wife, and come to see her. That made her feel good about herself, but at the same time bad too. Did that make sense? He liked her for who she was. She didn't need to pretend with him. But she had been a participant in a cheating marriage. Judy hated Jake for what he did to Lily, but she too had been the "other" woman. It was hard to judge him when she was doing pretty much the same thing, right?

She found some clean jeans, and slid into those, one foot at a time, but paused before pulling them all the way up. She'd broken it off with Sam. He had a wife. She sat down heavily on the edge of her bed. Sam always looked so yummy in her bed. Now he was back in her life again, sort of. He wasn't really married, really. Separated. That eased her conscience a whole bunch. But he wasn't totally hers, either. When he looked into her eyes, she felt every misgiving, every ounce of willpower just melt away. She loved being in his arms, she loved his smell, and he satisfied her quite nicely. She felt herself grinning at that point. Well, he did. She satisfied him as well, but was that enough? Was there more to it? There had to be. How does Lily keep her relationships going so long? She made it work with Jake, and he was a louse to her for many years. Then she met Rick, Mr. Perfect. With all the things that happened with that guy, she still made it work. She won him back, after she admitted to sleeping with Jake one last time. If we're sisters, then why are we so different?

Then again, Aaron was her brother, and boy was he different. She loved Aaron very much, and really enjoyed visiting him. His condition didn't faze her one bit. Rather, she felt a degree of usefulness because of it. Aaron needed her. Lily rarely asked for Judy's help. But Aaron - he was so kind, so sweet, and needed her. She felt good about that, about her purpose. Bringing him to Daddy's funeral had been her idea. Mom, on the other hand, didn't really care what she did, and even less about how Aaron was doing. That bothered her, a lot. She began looking through her closet for a good top to wear with her jeans. She decided to wear the red paisley shirt. She liked the way the large lapels framed her neck. It allowed for some attention to her bosom area, but not so much that she felt trashy. She grabbed some colored socks, and a pair of ankle boots, and a metallic belt, to complete her outfit.

Just a week ago, Judy met Jamie, Sam's son, for the first time. He seemed very sweet, but guarded. She liked that he liked to color. Daddy's little artist, she thought with a little smile. She began brushing her hair, and thought about some of the things Jamie had said. "My dad doesn't know what he's doing." Well, that sounds honest enough. Half the time, neither did she. Why wasn't she warned that being a grownup would be so difficult? Lily made it look so easy. Judy considered the fact that in reality, she'd dated way more men than her sister, but none had been worth pursuing. And the good one, Will, well he was gone. She liked that Sam had this effect on her, this magnetic charm that she could relinquish to. The attraction was really overpowering. That bothered her a little, though. Did Lily feel the same way about Rick? What about Karen with Leo? This can't be normal.

As Judy brushed her slightly damp hair, she reflected on the other statement Jamie said: "I know he's seeing other people too." Her brushing stopped, in mid stroke, as that thought hit her again. It seemed as poignant to her now as it did on Christmas Eve. Sam was seeing other women? "I mean, it isn't like we've agreed to be exclusive or anything," she told herself out loud. That sounded even worse out loud. She finished her hair, and softly padded her way to the kitchen. She was hungry.

Who could Sam be seeing? What is she like? Is she like me? Or completely the opposite? What IS the opposite of me? That thought struck her, as she peered into her mostly empty refrigerator, and pulled out some left over take-out Chinese. She sat at the table, picking at her cold sesame chicken, and sipped some red wine. It would be nice to ask Sam some of these questions, but did she dare? "How would he react," she considered. She answered her own question a little too quickly, "He'd avoid the question, and tell me some inane statement about feet or something." Dating an artist did have some drawbacks. She sipped her wine again, thinking about the word "drawback" and "artist" in the same sentence. That was weird. But she wasn't in the mood to make sense of that. And the food really was disgusting her. How long had that been in her fridge, anyway?

Jamie was a good kid. Something was amiss, but then, aren't most kids just a little bit weird? Usually, once you figure out what's bugging them, they are already on to another problem. Look at Grace. She's a conflict of emotions almost all the time. "Maybe that is why I relate to her so much better than Lily," she decided. Grace and Judy seemed to be cut from the same fabric, if you could ignore the age difference. "Lily should be grateful when I clue her in on Grace sometimes," she berated to the empty apartment. But her thoughts quickly turned back to Sam's son, Jamie.

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One of the things that stood out about Jamie was that his innocence seemed muted. Sure, there were moments when he seemed normal, but from that night, they were too few and far between. Sam had told her that he’d been in and out of special schools. How do you get thrown out of a special school, anyway? Did he act too normal? Did he act out too violently? How can they make a decision like that about a child, an innocent child? It felt so arbitrary.

Judy had read some information on child rearing, but she really didn’t have any idea what it was like. Being the “cool” aunt had all the advantages, because she never had to deal with the big problems. Of course, being “cool” one time, she ended up putting Grace in a risky situation. Thank God that worked out the way it did. She’d lost her favorite leather jacket, the one she got in Paris, and although she did miss it at times, it was a small price to pay for goofing up that night. Plus Grace really seemed to be attached to it. “When was the last time I saw it, anyway,” she murmured. She remember how angry Lily got at them both, Grace and her, but more at her since she was left in charge. On some level, she was sure that Lily was holding on way too tight, but she also had to acknowledge the fact that parents need to protect their kids.

Judy had always been a free spirit, and looking back, it truly was miraculous she’d survived those teen years. The parties, the boys, the desire to be cool.... that was so important to her, but not so much now. Grace was dealing with those pressures now, as was Jessie. Zoey and Jamie both will be heading down that path very soon. But her thoughts turned to her own brother, who had trouble later on, after his teen years. “What did bring that own,” she pondered. Was really brought it on? Genetics? Some type of damage from one too many parties? Aaron wasn’t the same person she grew up with, and that bothered her. She loved that she was there as his protector and thrived on it more and more, these days. “Great, my maternal instincts seem to be focusing on my own brother,” Judy said as she looked into the wall mirror near the front door. “I really need a man, a marriage, children!” Could Sam be ‘the one’?

She checked her answering machine, but there weren’t any messages. She didn’t even allow the feeling of frustration to well up. Instead, she looked out the window to gauge the weather, grabbed a coat, her keys, and was out the door. Her apartment’s silence was behind her. She was out in the world again. The air was brisk, and in the few moments it took for her to reach her ’65 Corvair, it seemed to clear her thoughts.

The car didn’t start until the third try, but that wasn’t so unusual. Soon she was on Oak Road, nearing Lily’s house. She didn’t really have a reason to go by, but she loved her sister, and sometimes talking with her did help. Hopefully this would be one of those times.

As she came in the kitchen entrance, she saw the girls walking around, trying to find something.

“Hey,” was her normal greeting. Grace and Zoey were bickering about a missing brush.

“Hey yourself,” was Lily’s reply, who sat at the table with a cup of coffee in one hand.

“I heard the girls have a new sister.”

“Judy, it was the most amazing thing. I never would have thought I’d go through that....”

“Through what – childbirth? You’ve done it twice already," she remarked, almost an accusation. And she immediately regretted her words, because here she was bringing on another judgment from Lily.

“Wha – you know what I mean, to be there, here!, and watch a natural childbirth. And Tiffany! Wow, I never thought I’d end up coaching her....”

“You coached Tiffany?” asked Judy, her eyes opening a little wider as she tried to picture that. Meanwhile, Grace left the room upset, accusing Zoey of losing it in the first place.

“Well, you know, with the blizzard, she couldn’t leave. Jake was fighting traffic to get the midwife here, and Rick and I just did what we could to help her through it. The girls were amazing.”

“So what did they name her?”

“You know, I’m not sure. I thought I heard them say Hope, but there was so much going on. When the electricity finally turned back on, we just did what we could to get things back to normal.”   Lily moved the newspapers, and pushed the missing hairbrush toward Zoey.  Smiling, Zoey left to go find Grace. "I found it," she called out to the entire household.

“So Jake’s baby doesn’t have a name.”

Lily smiled at her, a little conspiratorially, and said, “I’m just not sure what they decided upon.”

“Okay,” Judy figured now was a good time to change gears. “I met Sam’s son that night.”

“Really. Did he like you?”

Judy rolled her eyes. “All kids like me, you know that.”

“Good.”

“Yeah, good....”

“Judy, what is it?”

“It’s just, well.... He’s a really great kid. But he seems, I dunno, kinda angry.”

“I think we were angry as kids too.”

“No, he kinda flipped out. Sam acts like that is totally normal. And then Sam wanted to know if I would have a problem with that, with him.”

“Do you?”

“Lily. Of course not. I mean, I don’t even know what’s wrong with him, or even IF something is wrong with him.

“So?”

“You know how I have this sort of connection with Aaron?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I just think that if I can connect with Aaron, then I shouldn’t have a problem with Jamie.”

“Is that his son’s name?”

“Yeah, it is. Eli cheered him up that night, with his guitar playing. Maybe I could find something he likes too.....”

“Judy.” Lily pulled a wisp of Judy’s hair back behind her ear. “Where is this all going?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. But why would Sam ask if I could deal with that, then?”

Lily offered, “Maybe he just wants to see where you stand?”

Judy felt taken aback, the restlessness settled back in.  This wasn’t working out.  “I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel about Sam, and I’m pretty sure he knows.”

“But does he feel the same way? Just last week, you told me –“

“I’m not up to getting criticized today,” Judy warned.

“Okay. Fine. You should talk to him. Today. Find out where he stands, and tell him where you stand.”

Judy thought about that, and although it seemed pretty obvious Lily had other thoughts in mind, she wasn’t voicing them. And Judy smiled at that. “I’m gonna go.” And she did.

Back in her car, she sat and considered how to talk to the man that took her breath away. Her cell phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey you.”

“I was just wondering if you knew where an artist could get a good cup of coffee and a backrub.”

She smiled in spite of herself. This man sure knew how to talk to her. “Public, or private?”

But as the conversation continued at a normal pace, her mind raced ahead with a purpose all its own.  Did he flirt with every girl?  Was this his routine, his M.O.?  Where was he now?  Who was he with?  Was she nearby, maybe in the bathroom one room away?   What was it Karen was warning her about?  And what about what Jamie had told her???

“Private sounds good. Matter of fact, it sounds better. Where are you?”

As her heart sought control of her entire being, her brain intoned dryly - I was just wondering the same exact thing.  Out loud, she said, “I’m leaving Lily’s... Where are you?”

“I’m here,” he answered furtively.

“So how can I give you that backrub if you don’t tell me?”

“Let’s meet back at your place.”

“Okay” she answered too quickly, just realizing her heart had won before her brain could.   And the line was silent.  She looked out the window of her car, looking at nothing in particular.

She found herself back in her apartment, but now her body had a purpose. The lights were dimmed, candles were lit, soft music by Enya was playing, and she felt herself getting a little flushed in anticipation. The sex was great. His strong hands on her body felt perfect. She still laughed about the time her hand got a little strong on his face, over a year ago. It was a slap, actually, and it shocked them both. Neither of them could believe it happened, but he took her places that defied logic. “Maybe I should stop taking the pill,” she thought. “If I got pregnant, he might decide to make things more permanent.” Even the thought sounded absurd to her. It was the thought a little girl might have, of a fairy tale world where everything works out and everyone lives happily ever after. She wasn’t a little girl, and to risk getting pregnant in the hope that he MIGHT .... Well, that was just way too much of a gamble. “It must be my internal clock....such fantasies.....” Judy, the entrepreneur, owner of her own business, collector of eclectic art, the “cool” aunt. Yet she yearned for her own family. She wanted what Lily had. Well, not exactly what Lily had, but a Judy-version of that. That warm feeling was fading fast, as troubling thoughts gathered to the forefront of her mind. What did Sam expect of her? She couldn’t go on just being a convenient outlet for his sex drive. Or share it, either. Eww.

It was pretty obvious now. She wanted - no, she needed a commitment. She poured herself a glass of white wine, and waited for his arrival.

"What the hell am I doing?" The thought just stuck there. What was he doing? Rick had been cornering him more and more about Judy, and his questions were getting on his nerves. "Maybe after he has that vasectomy, he'll ease up. No testosterone, no problems." He smiled in spite of himself. Sam was driving, working his way from the business zone to the residential. The snow was slowing his progress, which was fine with him. He needed time to think. He also needed to relax his grip on the steering wheel a tad. A lot was going on. Work pressures, Jamie, Janine, Judy, that girl from the coffee shop whose name he could never remember... not that it bothered her any. She thought it was more exciting, in a sex-with-a-stranger sort of way.

This time period in his life was 'stranger', after 20 years of marriage. Not exactly faithful marriage, but he was married. The separation made things easier and more difficult, all at the same time. He liked his freedom to come and go as he pleased. Jamie wasn't handling things well though. He wasn't any different, really, but he knew it was tough. Sam's parents didn't get along at all, and he blamed most of his sarcastic personality on that very fact. Charming, with an edge. Perfect artist material.

Janine wasn't dealing well with things either. That phone call on Christmas eve was an bitter one. He tried to shield Jamie from overhearing their battles, but who knows what she tells him when he was with her. That bugged him. How did Rick do it with his kids? Hmm. Not too well, actually. Let's see, he said he "has a pothead for a son, and an anorexic daughter." Yeehaw - he was still ahead of the game. If he could just keep this separation from dragging out too long, they might all be all right in the end.

As slow-flocked tree limbs passed overhead, he paused to think about when his feelings had changed. He really wasn't a bad guy. He had been unhappy for a long time, and things just sort of culminated. The extramarital affairs, none withstanding, were really his only flaw. Well, that and procrastination. Colin Fleischer, his latest client, was a great sparing partner. He was the exact opposite, he wanted stuff done yesterday. Sam, by comparison, preferred to get inspiration when it came, or when he came. His dirty thought made him smile. Judy was great at inspiring him. It was strange, the way he was so attracted to her. She was like indirect lighting to his sculptures. But, she was also a real pain sometimes. Always complaining about the way her sister treated her, or how Jake's been ignoring her managing skills. He filed away his thoughts about Jake until he had more time to focus on them. Two thoughts at once weren't his forté, he knew.

Judy and inspiration.. Yep, she helped him meet that one deadline nicely. While other women were nice distractions, he always came back to Judy. Why did his heart lead him that way? She wasn't 20 something, she's pretty demanding, but that enchanted him on many levels. He felt so at ease in her apartment. She was so at ease with him. "I wonder if she's a card carrying member of a nudist colony." He'd join in a heartbeat. Of course, it would have to be a little warmer out, he acknowledged as he watched the snow fall on his windshield.

Jamie's opinion of Judy was pretty non-committal, and it concerned him. Sam didn't like admitting to anyone that he had doubts, he kept that nicely bottled up and contained. But he had many, and sometimes they were hard to bear. Being a "troubled" artist had helped his trade for a long time, but it did nothing for his ego. Being right-brained had some serious deficiencies, after all. What he lacked for in modesty usually won him kudos from clients. He knew he was a hard person to get along with, but Judy seemed to manage nicely.

He reached over onto the seat, and picked up the cloth-wrapped object, and got out of his car. As he headed up the stairs to Judy's, his concerns about Jamie began to fade somewhat. He felt other 'things' stirring, and he was in the mood for some fun. Jamie didn't hate her, after all. He'd just mull it over later. He knocked their secret knock, and waited.

The door opened slowly, the light from within framing her outline. And he didn't know how she did it, but somehow she could combine cinnamon and vanilla incense and the aroma was still pleasing. She stepped back, and he came in. Her brown eyes were big, looking for something. He could almost make out the green flecks from where he stood. He leaned in to kiss her, as he so often did, and she responded to his lips, his tongue ... but suddenly pulled away. Her eyes still on him, studying. Without acting startled, he smiled at her, but wondered what was up.

"Hi."

"Hi," she began.

"I was just thinking how much I'd like to share some hot chocolate with you."

"Oh, okay, I can heat up some water."

"Great." They both moved their way into the kitchen, Sam sitting down at the table, while Judy filled a tea pot and put it on the stove to boil.

"I brought you something," Sam continued, "that I thought would look great in your apartment. That is, unless you want to put it in Booklovers."

She eyed the parcel, wrapped in cloth, tied with brown packing string, and smiled. "What's the occasion?"

"Well, that Christmas eve, things were a little off, because of the snow and all, and I wanted to bring you a gift."

She felt that warm feeling deep in her stomach begin to flow outwards in every direction, crowding out her uncertainties. She loved presents, no matter what the occasion. "You didn't splurge on wrapping paper, I see," she said teasingly.

"Actually, it's one of those things you don't wrap usually." His smile warmed her further, and she moved over to the table, to pick it up. It was heavier that she expected. Slowly, she pulled at the string, the anticipation building. Sam sat and watched, his slightly unshaven stubble framing his smile. His eyes were sparkling a little, but that may have been due to the candlelight. She slowly unrolled the cloth, and found a figurine inside. It stood about 16 inches tall, and was that dark grey clay color. It was cold to the touch, and just a little pliable. She looked at it more closely, and the realization hit her that it was an image of her. The hair, her nose, her face, her form, it was all beautifully captured in this media. Her body was naked, but a cloth was wrapped around her, covering her more erotic areas.

"Oh my God," she stammered, "it's...it's me!" Sam loved watching her reaction, as the transition from curiosity to recognition registered across her face. Her eyes intently looked up and down the statuette, and it had been worth it.

"So, do you think your customers should see a different side of you?" he joked, as he turned it over in her hand, to show her exposed buttocks.

She gasped slightly, looked at him hard for a heart beat, and slid into his lap. "It's beautiful." She thanked him, deeply, and their emotions washed over and through them as candles flickered and their shadows were cast upon the walls.

"I'm glad you like it."

"You didn't make this that day, did you?"

"Well, no," he said, turning away out of embarrassment, "I did it today. It'll need a little finalizing, and I'll have to fire it in a kiln, but I couldn't wait." So that is where he had been. "I missed you."

She, half-laughingly said, "but you just saw me two days ago." She got up, carefully putting the gift down on the fabric again.

"So, is that a crime that I miss you?"

She went to make the cocoa, as the water was ready. She added three marshmallows, the big kind, because he liked it that way.

They moved to the living room, and sat on the sofa together, both thinking, neither speaking.

"How's Jamie?"

"He's good. He's with Janine."

"He's a great kid."

"I know."

She paused, and he noticed she seemed to want to head into a difficult topic. "God, please don't let her say she wants to have kids again!" he pleaded to himself.

"I was wondering about the other night...."

"Oh great," he anticipated, "she's going to complain about my son now." But she didn't.

"I was wondering what exactly is ... the problem, " she said diplomatically, "with Jamie?"

"Oh," he responded, slightly stunned - she cared? "He's got one of those disorders with initials. ADD, ADHD, and too much TNT," he quipped.

"TNT?" she asked hesitantly.

"The cable channel," he explained, realizing she might have been thinking he meant dynamite. "He watches a lot of tv."

"Oh." she smiled. "So how do you deal with him?"

"I just do. He's my kid. You just do." he stated. "Do you?"

"Do I understand? Or do I want to deal with him?" Judy asked.

"Both, I guess, or neither." This conversation was getting unpleasant far too quickly for him. He took her hand in his, and they laced fingers.

With her free hand, she put her hair back behind her ear, and continued, "You know my brother Aaron, right?"

"We've never met, if that's what you mean...."

"No, I mean, you know he's got a problem. He's suffering from schizophrenia, and it's been hard on him. On all of us."

"Sure."

"I've been the one that has always cared for him. Well, technically, I'm the one that visits him the most," she said, somewhat bitterly. "I love my brother very much, and I miss him the way he was, but I've accepted him for who he is now."

"Okay..." Sam was wondering where this was all going.

Judy looked deeply into Sam's eyes, and could see he wasn't getting it. "I accepted him for who he is, Sam. Do you understand? I can do the same with Jamie, if you'll let me."

Sam sat back, taking this in. "She really is a giver," he mused. He could see her sincerity. He almost thought he saw tears in her eyes.

Judy continued, "Sam, I love you. You have to know that. I've made it very obvious, and I'll continue to love you."

Sam looked at her, and noticed her hand was trembling. No, it was her whole body. He pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly. She looked over his shoulder, her eyes wide with wonderment of what he'd say. Still, it felt great to be held by him. She thought she smelled clay on him, maybe. Her eyes closed, as she thought about him and earthy smells.

Sam gently pulled away, so he could look at her face. "I love you too, Judy. It's just that I'm not sure what I want right now....." He saw those comments register in her face, and berated his poor choice in wording. "I mean, I really like the way things are right now."

"Right now."

"Yeah. Don't you?"

Judy sat there, in her living room that was so often silent, lonely, looking at the man that loved her, but wouldn't commit.

Lily was talking to Rick. They were in their bedroom. Rick wasn't reading; it was more page flipping and perusal than anything. He hadn't been in the mood to read lately. The news in recent events had been bad enough, plus his business was still recovering from that unmitigated disaster with Dentrell. Rick had taken that gamble, and he had hoped to grab the 'brass ring' of success, but like the kid on the carousel, it was always just out of his reach. Only this time, he’d almost lost the whole carousel. He had to wonder if he was repeating that mistake with Fleischer all over again. He decided he wasn't. He had to work. He needed any client he could find, and this one fell into his lap. Sure, it was great to have a client with a lot of money, and he hoped to get a decent wage from this project. But even more so, he wanted to rebuild his reputation, and this job could do it for him. It could show his mettle, his character, his ability to survive in a cut-throat business.

His newest partner, Sam, was problematic, at best. At times, Rick was envious of his buddy's ambivalence toward work, but he could never be that way, himself. He also was a little jealous of Sam's never ending harem of women. Jealous, but extremely cognizant of the fact that it was no way to live. For him, anyway. It was like knowing the guy that sent in those letters published in the Forum section of Penthouse. He liked to read them, as it had the desired effect of fueling those fantasies never acted upon. But Rick had never been a risk taker when it came to dating. Dating was hard enough without trying to figure out what lies you'd told to whom. And being with a different woman each day of the week wasn't what he considered a healthy choice, either. He liked to establish a relationship, get to know his partner on many levels, and build on that. So while he felt a little envy, and kind of enjoyed living vicariously via some of Sam's escapades, he would never admit it out loud, in a million years.

However, that one time, in an elevator.... he'd have to figure out a way to act that one out with Lily. Soon. Lily's voice cut into his thoughts: "I'm telling you, you don't realize how much Judy likes him… Rick - are you even listening to me?" Rick looked up, moving the book over his lap to hide his growing arousal, to see Lily looking at him, still rubbing lotion on her forearms and elbows. She was so beautiful. "Come to bed." He put the book aside, thinking his 'signal' was all too apparent.

Lily looked down on her beautiful man, propped up on the pillows in her bed, and loved that they were married. She still asked herself, so many times, how did she ever get so lucky to find this man. His eyes were so gentle, his mouth and jaw line strong, his hair so thick. She loved looking at his shoulders, his arms, and his hands. She also loved how he would tease her, like the time he said Elizabeth was a silly name. He'd been opening up to her more, and she yearned for that. Jake never had, and that had been a major source of contention for so many years. Rick wasn't good at opening up; he tended to hold it all in, at least until he couldn’t any longer. She still loved that one night, when they'd cried together, after the whole Atlantor mess had almost killed his business, as well as his ego. That night, he'd come to her, a broken man, secretly seeking her strength. His words - his reasons for giving up on any future he had with her - did nothing but make her love him even more. His laying his heart open before her took incredible courage, and it meshed with everything that made her... Lily. Her words that night changed him, recharged him, rebuilt him in a way that no other woman had ever done before. How could she not marry this man?

At the same moment, as she reflected on her love for him, she also felt like he could be so clueless. Did he really not see the things that were so obvious to her? Or was he just letting things go their own course, playing the innocent bystander? She couldn't do that, not when it came to her sister. She loved Judy, and she hated seeing her hurt. This thing with Sam was becoming a serious problem, and Rick needed to see that! She returned to topic, "This situation with Sam is getting totally out of hand..."

"What... What did Sam do?"

Lily put her hands on her hips, and started to repeat herself, "Judy feels that Sam won't...."

"Lil, come to bed," he insisted again.

".....give her the type of attention she's needing right now." She walked around the foot of the bed to her side, and checked to make sure the alarm clock was set. Rick held the covers open for her.

She continued, while climbing in, "Judy is very vulnerable right now. With Tiffany's baby...."

"What does Tiffany's baby have to do with Judy?"

"Rick. Judy really wants a baby. She has for a long time, now. Tiffany's delivery just pushed that to the forefront all over again."

"Again?" he asked, beginning to feel less sexual by the moment.

"Judy has always wanted children. Don't you think she'd be a good mother?" She stroked the side of his face with her fingertips, watching his reaction.

"Sure. Sure she would. But it's hard being a single parent, you know that. Are - are you telling me that she's pregnant? That Sam got her pregnant?" His mind started to race at the thought. "Sam's not even divorced yet...."

"She's not pregnant, Rick. I just said she wants a baby." She smiled at him, tilted her head to the side a little, and whispered "Like we do."

His arm already around her, he pulled her closer, feeling her warmth against his skin. He smiled, and repeated his line from that cold, snowy night - "Oh boy."

"Or girl..." she reciprocated, kissing him. That kiss was just a precursor to many that were to follow. She loved making love with him. His gentleness never hindered him when it came to intimacy. His sensual ministrations gave her reason to thank God she was a woman. Two years ago, she was so scared to even let a man touch her, and yet this man, this fantastic gift of a man, touched her in so many ways. It went way beyond that initial fear of trusting another man, after Jake had wounded her soul so greatly. Rick's touch still caused these wonderful sensations, like they did on their first date. He focused on those 'off' areas that typically get ignored, slowly working his way toward areas that definitely were more passionate. And it was so worth it. She could feel her eyes rolling back in her head, as her body demanded more attention, just like it was getting. It was like a drug, a tantalizing drug. She loved being tantalized. She wanted that feeling to go on forever, keeping her on the brink of .... it was getting hard to even think.... it was ... just ... so.... g-g-good..... She opened her eyes. She wanted to watch her husband, his every motion, his beautiful face, as they shared this moment in time. She was almost there.....

Rick loved being on top of her. He loved being under her. He loved being with her. It didn't matter where they were. He loved her, completely. Sometimes, it was hard to shake certain memories, and it was really strange making love in their bed after Tiffany had just recently birthed Jake's (JAKE'S!) baby there. He tried not to dwell on the fact that Jake had been in every room of this house, that he and Lily had probably --- he stopped midstream. He didn't dare follow that train of thought. It just brought back memories of one fateful night two winters ago, and he had already resolved to put that behind him, behind them, for just about as long. She had chosen him, with all of his strengths and his insecurities, with his children and all of his baggage. She made him feel like a man, a manly man. Her eyes spoke volumes, her lips and her smile warmed his heart, and he loved it when she flipped her hair when she was irritated. He never regretted, not for a minute, meeting Lily. Everything they had been through led to this very day. He appreciated her ongoing supportiveness, when it came to his needs or those of his children. He really needed that, and it didn't feel weak at all to have those needs.

Her skin was so soft. David, his former business partner, had scoffed at his desire to date a mother of two. He smiled down on her, as he remembered what he had said: he thought he liked that, for some reason. She was a wonderful mother and wife. She was so different from Karen. He wondered if they ever had a single thought in common. He was looking into her eyes, and could feel her deep love for him, as they moved together, intertwined. Her smooth legs wrapped around his thighs - they were beyond intimate. Was it possible that anyone else felt what they were feeling just then? He knew she was ready, as was he, and those final moments stretched out explosively for them both. He watched her, as her head snapped from side to side, and for a second, time just stopped. As the fireworks subsided, she took a breath, wondering when exactly she had stopped breathing. Rick rolled away from her, only to take the pressure off of his arms, and worked on regaining a normal breathing pattern himself. He ran his finger down the length of her nose, smirking in spite of himself. She returned the smile, rather coyly.

"I love you, Richard Sammler," she breathed.

"And I love you, Elizabeth Sammler," he murmured as he kissed her gently.

Their earlier conversation was all but forgotten. Sam and Judy, on the other hand, were still in the thick of it......

Sam was up, pacing somewhat. Judy, eyes downcast, remained sitting on the edge of the sofa, extremely uncomfortable. Their conversation had been going on for what seemed like hours, but as she looked at her wristwatch, she calculated that it had only been about 30 minutes.

Sam's gaze took in her gesture, and he too looked at his watch.

"Um... Judy?"

She looked up at him, defensively.

"Why don't we take a break, and go see a movie?" His attempt at a smile was rather pitiful, but he had to try something. He felt like he was losing her, when in truth she wanted nothing more than to be with him all the time. But the ball was in his court. Where it had been the whole time, she realized.

"What movie?" she asked, skeptically. Any distraction right now would be a relief.

"I've read some great reviews on some indie movie, and I know you like to avoid mainstream stuff. Would you like to see In The Bedroom?"

She paused and considered the invitation, but then immediately wondered why 'bedroom' coming out of Sam's mouth always sounded sexual. She declined, "No, I don't like the director. He gets on my nerves."

"Okaaay... we should do something. What about -..."

She called him over to the sofa, and when he sat down next to her, she looked at the statuette on the kitchen table. "Why did you make that for me, Sam?"

Sam looked at it as well, and said, "I dunno, I guess maybe I'd score some points with you." She turned to read his face, to figure out if this was yet another joke, or maybe him being painfully honest. She decided she couldn't tell. She tried another avenue, "What does it mean? I mean, how should I react to this gesture? Am I supposed to be honored, feel worshipped like some goddess? Should I be embarrassed that you made a statue of me half nude? Maybe you see me like that today, because one day I won't look like that anymore?" She paused, and then said, with self-pity, "or maybe you made it just so you could score points with me."

Sam took her chin in his hand and raised it up to see her face, and saw a lone tear run down her flushed cheek. More tears were waiting their turn to follow suit.

He drew her close, and said "I did it because I love you." She tried to see him through her tears, but even this close, he was difficult to make out. Just like every other guy she had cared for, she had trouble seeing who they really were, until -- until she chased them off, she berated herself. Judy heard his words, and desperately wanted to believe them, but Sam's history was hampering her ability to trust him implicitly. "IMPLICITLY?!" she thought, taken aback by the very context of the word. She had just doubted where he'd been earlier that day. Trusting Sam felt good, but to really trust him was to put her at risk. His quick wit and sardonic responses made him all the more attractive, and she wanted to hang out with him. But she was a fool to expect him to be there in her hour of need. He'd be off, finding something or someone fun to do, while she'd be left to pick up the pieces.

Her tears began to flow, as more and more doubts jolted her heart. It didn't feel good to cry, no, it felt embarrassing. And that made her angry. He made her angry, because he was the reason she didn't trust him. He continued to hold her, but she began to fight him off. She wanted to get away from him, to push him out her door, and lock all the locks to keep him out of her head and our of her heart, and most definitely out of her sight. Because when she looked at him, her willpower crumpled every time. Sam felt her pushing him away, but he just held her. She tried again, and again, to push him off with her small hands. She was amazingly strong, but he didn't relent. She sobbed in his shirt, and a few muffled words were discernable enough for him to hear.

"You.... why.... need your... college.…understanding.... Lily, then Aaron.... Jamie said.... miss …a baby...."

Sam didn't say anything, he just held her and rocked her, and looked at the statue he'd made of the intense woman that drew up strength from within when needed. He didn't even compare the two women, one of clay and one of flesh, because they were both the same person. Different shades of the same woman he was attracted to in the first place. He felt very comfortable holding her, as she cried more softly now.

The candles had been burning for several hours now, as you could surmise by the drippings. Sam still held Judy, his head resting on hers. Music in the background curiously matched the setting.

The phone rang, but Judy didn't move. It rang again, and Sam considered answering himself. "Did you want me to get that?" She didn't bother responding. She didn't care who it was. It was probably some guy trying to sell her vinyl siding anyway.

Judy's voice answered the call, there was a click and a beep, and "...Judy, if you're there, pick up the phone..... Okay, I guess you're not there. Please call me, I want to make sure you're okay.... Oh, by the way, this is your big sister." Before the connection ended, her Lily laugh made the tape.

Judy leaned back, and noticed how late it had gotten. Sam looked at her, smiled, and nodded toward the answering machine. "Lily seems worried about you. Should I be worried about you?"

She playfully slapped him on the chest, and at the same time used his body as a way to push herself up and off the sofa. She walked over to a mirror, rubbing her eyes and wiping her cheeks. She was a mess. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Um...sure."

In the bathroom, she splashed some warm water on her face. In the better lighting, she saw how puffy her eyes had gotten. Even as she blotted her face dry with another terry cloth towel, she didn't derive any comfort from its gentle folds.

She was having trouble obtaining any peace of mind lately. The past two nights, she'd had nightmares, and she knew precisely why. Sam wasn't making things any easier. Or maybe she was making it too hard on him. She didn't have any real hold on Sam. He was an almost-free agent, free to come and go as he pleased. They had had an arrangement, but she was the one having difficulty keeping up her end of the bargain. Her thoughts had almost betrayed her earlier, but she didn't think he'd figured it out.

Sam waited for a couple of minutes, then walked over to the phone to check on Jamie. He let it ring several times, but no-one was home. As he was hanging up, he saw Judy staring at him, with a look of betrayal on her face.

"I was just checking on Jamie - ..."

Judy looked at him, accusingly.

"Jude, is that a problem? I am his dad."

Judy turned and ran back out of the room, crying again.

Sam stood there, receiver still in his hand, wondering why he felt so guilty, when he wasn't, really.

Grace was on the phone, trying to figure out who was calling. "Jessie!" she yelled a little too forcefully, again. "Telephone!" Jessie came into the kitchen to take the phone from Grace, wondering when they would ever be able to just get along.

"Hello?"

"Jessie, I've been thinking about you so much. Whatcha doin'?" The voice wasn't Tad's ... Katie, maybe? "Oh, hi Katie. We're taking down the last of the decorations. What's up?"

"I was just thinking that maybe you could come over this weekend? We could rent that new movie we were talking about the other day, the one with that cute guy. Get Over It. You know, the guy that looks a little bit like your brother...?"

"Um...well, thanks for the invitation, but this weekend is my Mom's, and I'm sure she has it all planned out for me...."

"Oh, okay, well maybe some other time then?"

"Sure."

And with that, the strange phone call as over. Jessie came back into the living room where the kids were packing away the last of the decorations. Zoey had an entire tray piled high with melted cup ornaments.

Eli grinned at her, and asked "Are you going to save all those things?"

Zoey's big eyes answered for her, but she added with zeal, "Absolutely! We made them the day Tiffany's baby was born! Maybe she'll want them one day to give to her little girl."

Eli's mocking "Whatever." fell on deaf ears.

He looked at Jessie, and saw that something was off. "Who was that? Tad?"

"No - no it was Katie. She asked me to see a movie with her."

"So what's wrong with that?"

"I dunno. I guess nothing at all."

"So are you going?"

Jessie stared off into space. "Jess?"

"Oh ... I told her it was Mom's weekend."

"Oh, yeah. Mom wouldn't like that too much."

Jessie started to ask Eli something, but thought the better of it, and grabbed a box and headed upstairs to the attic.

"So Grace, are you going to help me with this,“ Eli queried, “or do I have to do all the work around here myself!" Grace laughed, and ran from the room, pretending she had something far more important to take care of. Eli rolled his eyes, and turned back to the task at hand.